Virginity is everyone’s pride especially to young growing girls. Apart from good upbringing, girls tend to keep themselves for their future husband (especially those from religious backgrounds). Virgins tend to pride themselves because no man has left with them, In our society, it is believed that virgins are good girls while non virgins are the corrupt or bad ones (How true is this?, story for another day).
It is really commendable to identify a teenager or an older girl who is yet to engage in sexual intercourse, but most men tend to misunderstand the biology or reality of virginity. As you read further, I will disclose why some girls break their virginity without having sex.
What is virginity:
Virginity is the state of not engaging in sexual intercourse at all right from birth this is synonymous to celibacy. It is an expression of religious purity, self-respect, self-honor, respect for family background and upbringing ; other reasons maybe best known to the person in question. Virginity can be practiced by either a man or woman but our society tend to attribute virginity to the female folks, a man’s state of sexual life is not seen as an issue, especially in Africa, focus is on women and their sexual life.
The misconceptions by men:
Men find it very prideful to be the first to have sex with a woman, they use it to brag with their peers and even feel special about it. While the girl is losing her pride for having sex the very first time, the man feels very proud for being the one responsible for deflowering the girl.
In spite of this, men tend to still embarrass the opposite sex when they feel the sexual penetration was too easy, and by implication she may have slept with a man before. This has caused plenty troubles in relationships leaving the man disappointed and the girl or woman very broken.
Some men who have waited for many years on the refusal of the girl to have sex with them earlier as requested by the man tend to feel bad if they eventually find their way into the girl/woman and finding a whole, yes, a whole (a broken hymen) indicating that she is not a virgin.
The rejection faced by girls or women:
Women who have honestly kept themselves and are waiting to open themselves to only their husbands or dream man feel humiliated if anybody doubts their sexual state.
Some girls/ladies go through a lot in marriage or relationships because their virginity is in doubt by their spouse or partner. Some of the following things happen as a result of this,
- Burden of rejection by partner
- Broken marriages arising from doubt by partner
- Broken marriages
- Domestic violence and total abuse of girls and women
Why men feel ladies lied their virginity:
Because virginity is locally believed to be the closure of the hymen not allowing penetration of the penis except some force is used to insert the male genital organ into the vagina, this force breaks the hymen and as a result of this, little drops of blood can be noticed. It is widely known to be in indication of virginity. But this however no so true for all girls or women.
The reality about women and virginity:
The presence of the hymen is what is referred to as virginity. The hymen can be broken in the following ways;
- Regular exercise: women (virgins) who are athletes, dancers, kungfu fighters, bicycle riders etc. ten have a broken hymen prior to having sex the very first time because of stress and too much stretching of the thighs, continuous exercise could force the hymen to tear open gradually. The penis can easily penetrate during sex without to much pain or blood droplets.
- Masturbation or fingering the vagina: Girls who masturbate or allow their partner to use the finger to play with the vagina can perforate the hymen, making the penis to penetrate easier during first time sexual intercourse.
- Use of artificial penis: A girl may feel because she has not experienced biological sexual intercourse with a man, she should be seen as a virgin, but once the hymen is broken, not man will believe your claim of celibacy.
- Sexually intercourse: Use of the penis to insert into the vagina, this is done sometimes forcefully, thereby breaking the hymen, since force is applied, blood will spill a bit (There should be no cause for alarm, it is normal)
Other factors may be responsible for tempering with the hymen, people should have a deep talk with their partners who claim to be virgins before engaging in violence after having sex for the first time. Also seek the counsel of professionals.
Some ways to know a virgin.
- A virgin feels somewhat shy and uncomfortable around men
- A virgin does not indulge too much in vulgar discussions (Not always the case) some may vary
- A virgin easily feels threatened or nervous when sex is mentioned
- Teenage virgins are not very conscious of their looks or footsteps
- Virgins are not too sensitive to the onlooking men around them unlike a young girl who is already having sex, she is very sensitive to the opposite sex.
Details will be discussed in my next article.